Words and Thoughts: The Mules of Oniontown, USA
Hello again, alleged readers. I have some very serious news to report to all of you. Last week I unwittingly became involved in a smuggling operation. Like...
Words and Thoughts: Milk in my Toaster, Cereal in Your Soup
Hello again, alleged readers! This week at work, my coworker (we’ll call him “Keith”) was doing a “fun” poll on the whiteboard in the breakroom...
Words and Thoughts: Welcome to the Butter Dome
Hello again, alleged readers. Last weekend I went out to dinner with my cousin’s husband’s family. Normally I don’t go out to dinner with my...
Words and Thoughts: Senen Stavknud, 7th Sept. 2026 (Week Of)
Alleged readers, hello again. I hope this email finds you well! Dropping you a note here to tell you about my week. Firstly, the big...
Words and Thoughts: In Memoriam: Dolly Parton’s Electric Metal
Hello again alleged readers! I’m starting a business. Here’s why. Last week I was hanging my intricately painted, 6’ x 9’, stainless steel backed, Dolly...
Words and Thoughts: Justin Bieber, Psy, Jesus, and Satan Walk Into a Sports Store
Hello again, alleged readers. Sometime during the halcyon days of social media, just around the time Facebook began its slide into the festering magmatic pool...
Words and Thoughts: Let’s Pretend Things Aren’t Happening
Hello again, alleged readers. Recently I was on the internet, and was presented with an advertisement for a shirt, whose design had been stolen from...
Words and Thoughts: Just All Elbows and Gel Pens
Hello again, alleged readers. I was talking to my buddy, the ski-ball pro, and as he was talking about whether tomatoes and ketchup on a...
Words and Thoughts: Stav, Not Jimothy
Hello again, alleged readers. I feel that it is necessary at present for me to issue an official statement: I am not, nor have I...
Words and Thoughts: In the Air, Tonight?
Hello again, alleged readers. I just don’t get it. I do not get “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins. I don’t think anyone else does either. I think everyone thinks they...
