Words and Thoughts: Içe Çream Çakes, and other Life Advice
Hello again, alleged readers. I’ve got some questions: What the hell is a Wooble? Has anybody thought of making double-ended suckers that look like little...
Words and Thoughts: Dick Schoof’s Waffles,
Hello again, alleged readers! As you probably know, the Dutch government collapsed again. Ol’ Geert Wilders there ripped the rug out from under Dick Schoof’s...
Words and Thoughts: Skeet, Toilet, Ohio. In That Order.
Hello again, alleged readers! And a hearty waaaaaaaazzzzzup to the Gen Zs or Alphas and Betas or whatever the hell y’all are. Recently I made a...
Words and Thoughts: Store Brand Cool Whip
Hello again, alleged readers! Do you think the squirrels that operate the lights inside of a traffic light do it for the money? Or is...
Words and Thoughts: Fish Sticks, NASCAR, and the Midnight Goose
Hello again, alleged readers! You all remember my one neighbor with the bird clock in his garage? If you don’t remember my neighbor, you probably at least...
Words and Thoughts: The Infinite Journey to Gary, Indiana
Hello again, alleged readers! Sometimes, people come up to me and say, “Stav! How are you doing?” I often turn away from whatever I’ve recently...
Words and Thoughts: Ambiguity, Several Thoughts on the Matter
Top of the mornin’ to ya once more, alleged readers! I can finally do an Australian accent now, and I’m very excited about it. I...
Words and Thoughts: Tim Horton’s — Australian for “Coffee”
Top of the mornin’ to ya once more, alleged readers! I can finally do an Australian accent now, and I’m very excited about it. I...
Words and Thoughts: Bananas, The Club
If Brad eats 50 million bananas at once, Brad will be exposed to 5,000 millisieverts of radiation. The radiation will be detrimental to Brad’s health;...
Words and Thoughts: The Terraces of Ontario, Canada
Hello again, alleged readers. I don’t typically send all of you these faxes regarding current events. It reduces the syndication value for when I will...