Words and Thoughts: Starring Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell
Hello again, alleged readers! I’ve just finished the Overboard completionist film viewing. While this is a coming-of-age rite of passage that all members of the Knudsenen family are well acquainted with, I understand that some families don’t have this same tradition. In case you find yourself in one of those families, allow me to shed some light on the practice.
As a matter of family pride, all Knudsens are obliged to go to grad school, because, “we ain’t a pack of ignorants,” as my grandma used to say, as did many Knudsenens before her, and so on. Most Knudsenes, upon graduation naturally go straight into the trash collection business. There are, however, limited exceptions. For example, on a Knudsenen’s seventh birthday, the birthday Knudsenen may choose to invoke “The Rite of the Rock”. If the Rock Rite is invoked, after cake, but before presents, the birthday Knudsenen is handed a rock, blindfolded, and spun around seven times. They then get to throw the rock. If they manage to hit another Knudsenen with the rock, the rock thrower is entitled to shake up any can of pop (or soda for the heathens) that the Knudsenen that got hit by the rock is about to open, for life. The Rock Rite is then concluded, often followed by a trip to Rite Aid, for Band Aids, and pop. Then presents, and shaken pop cans, are opened. Everyone is still obligated to go to grad school, and then probably trash collection, but some Knudsenens get to do it with can shaking privileges. And like the Rock Rite exception, not all Knudsenens go into trash collection. Every rule and tradition has its exceptions, except the Overboard tradition.
Since its premier in 1987, ALL Knudsenens, MUST, at some point during their lives, watch Overboard starring Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, AND every remake that exists. At first, it was easy. It was the late 80’s, it looked like the American Century would never die, and there was only one Overboard: the 1987 original. Then came 1992’s Hindi remake, Ek Ladka Ek Ladki. And for the next few years, that was it, but then there were more! 1997 brought Mayaponman in Malayam. Then came the TV shows: 2006’s Couple or Trouble from South Korea, and Russia’s 2013 miniseries Zhena Naprokat. We thought that had to be the end of it all. As such, you can imagine our horror when one of my cousins came back from Switzerland sometime in 2015 and told us that three years prior the Swiss had made Liebe und Andere Unfälle. Finally, three years after that, we were blessed, or cursed, with 2018’s role-reversed Overboard starring Anna Faris and Eugenio Derbez. ALL remakes of the 1987 Overboard. ALL must be watched by ALL Knudsenens.
I have weird uncle that insists that the 1993 Egyptian Film Mechanica is another remake, but he is the subject of much ridicule within our family. Real tin-foil hat type guy.
Anyway, here Ol’ Stav stands accomplished. As of a few hours ago, I can finally say that I too, like so many Knudsenens before me, have finally completed the Overboard rite of passage. Barely understood the plot of the first one, let alone the non-English ones. But that’s not the point. The point is, “we ain’t a pack of ignorants”, and I have the pirated Overboard downloads to prove it.
Proudest day of my life, I tell you what.
Please don’t anyone make any more Overboards.
