Words and Thoughts: Stav Breaks His Silence, Forever
Hello again, alleged readers. I’m breaking my silence! I’ve been sitting at my desk here for at least three minutes, I think, in silence. I haven’t said anything since the “Q” key on the keyboard startled me when I first sat down and I kinda growled at it.
It hides up there by the “Tab” key (which has never ONCE dispensed any diet cola when pressed), off to the side of the “A” & “W” keys (which have never ONCE dispensed any root beer when pressed). I’m pretty sure we could get by without the letter “Q”, and if we can do that, presumably we could do away with the keyboard key “Q”, and in its place could go so many more useful things, like an extra “O” key for when you forget where the original “O” key is, and it wouldn’t take much to erase the tail and just be O anyway.
THE OUICK BROWN FOX JUMPED OVER THE LAZY DOG. See, you barely notice it’s not there.
Regardless, it’s time for me to break my silence. I’m up to about four minutes now since “the startling”, and I’m usually just not quiet for this long. It’s unsettling. But I don’t know what to say. The longer this goes on, the more the pressure mounts. With this unprecedented period of verbal absence, the longer it goes on, the more profound my first words must be.
If I get to five minutes, we’re going to be somewhere around the significance level of Armstrong’s Moon words. That’s what words spoken on the moon are called, by the way: “Moon words”. They’re like regular words; except they’re on The Moon. Or from The Moon, rather. They are Moon in origin. Also, I don’t think they can apply to a verbal contract on Earth. Moon words are for Moon verbal contracts, probably.
I see headlines all the time from tabloid-leaning publications that read something to the effect of “[So and So] breaks their silence about [thing that literally just happened]”. The silence being broken wasn’t silence for very long. Not like the silence I’m currently wallowing in. Way to hype up unsuspecting alleged readers unscrupulously, less than reputable publications! Or even better, some non sequitur pairing hot-button issue pairing like, “Greta Thunberg breaks her silence on Whopper Jr. value meal”. This implies some concerted effort on Thunberg’s part to actively NOT bring up the Whopper Jr.
Unlike Greta Thunberg, Ol’ Stav here isn’t actively trying to stay silent, about ANYTHING! What I wouldn’t give to end this madness. To breach the surface of the waters of the endlessly silent ocean to breathe air, and breathe forth words unto the endless expanse that is the world above. The world of noise. Noise that I simply must add to. Alas, it has been what seems like an eternity since I have breathed words… probably seven minutes now. I feel as if I’m going to implode under the weight of my own quiet.
I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna make a word. So often I make so many words without even thinking, and now, when thinking about the words, none spring forth to be made. OK, here goes, I think I am ready to finally break my silence!
Wow, yup, that sure was a word. You all, the alleged readers, were obviously not here to hear it. And I obviously don’t have a way to convey to you what I said out loud. But suffice to say, it was a word! Stav has broken his silence. I guess those harrowing few moments of silence (or is it plural “silents” because it was multiple moments?) is why it’s words and thoughts, in that very specific order.
From here on out, more words, less thinking… lest the silence return. The silence mustn’t return.
You ever think about the word “mustn’t”? It’s like if- wait, nope, almost fell into the thinking trap. Let’s not think about “mustn’t”, let’s just say it repeatedly until the semantic satiation sets in.
Mustn’t mustn’t mustn’t mustn’t mustn’t mustn’t.
This is the way.
