Words and Thoughts: Içe Çream Çakes, and other Life Advice
Hello again, alleged readers. I’ve got some questions:
What the hell is a Wooble?
Has anybody thought of making double-ended suckers that look like little dumbells? If you call suckers lollipops, you can delete this fax right now, by the way.
Where does math go when you’re done talking about it?
Let me know, please. Thanks.
Also, my comment about lollipops was really just to be inclusive for those who might be thinking, “suckers, what are those?” But like, I want to maintain my tough façade, so I have to appear mad about it.
Wow look at that ç in façade! Ohp, and here it is in capital form: Ç. What a thing; C what with the little goatee there. Little beard having, on the fringes of society existing, motorcycle riding, rebelling without a cause, punk, C. Like whoa, here comes the James Dean of C’s kinda letter.
The umlaut gang, out here hassling accented letters for their lunch money, thinks they’re tough until Ol’ “Ç-dawg” pops up in the same paragraph. Chewing the stick off a double-ended sucker like the Marlboro Man typografied. Certified badass. Rather, çertified badass.
If your fax machine doesn’t support special characters, the last few paragraphs will have been a confusing ride for you. If you like confusing rides, you’re welcome. If you don’t however, I’d ask that you go back, and try again to enjoy it.
That one time I took a flight to Iceland thinking it was a garbage truck to Ohio was a wildly confusing ride, but it was definitely enjoyable. I’d go so far as to say confusing rides are the best kind of rides. Rides lacking confusion are boring, and pedantic: Get in the car to drive to work… this is not confusing, and it is not fun. Sneak into the back of a Carvel truck momentarily stopped at the loading dock of a grocery store… what a thrill! Where is it going? When will it stop next? Will I freeze to death before I can eat four sheet cakes? “THIS is what life is all about” I think as my body’s temperature is maintained only by my metabolism attempting to process my body weight in ice cream and chocolate crunchies.
All three times I’ve snuck onto a Carvel truck have been some of the best times of my life. However, for legal and moral reasons, I must caution all of you, dear alleged readers, not to ever sneak into a freezer truck, or any large freezer for that matter. Have a grown-up human get whatever you are trying to get out of the freezer for you.
Welp, those are about all the words I have for today. Time to start thinking now, I suppose. What a ride it’s been. Hopefully a confusing one! I mean, we started with Woobles, and suckers, and where math goes. Then the whole bit about Ç. And then we were on about sheet cakes. Remember that? How did we even get there? That was my favorite part, for sure!
Woobles though. Still confused there, and not good confused. Just confused.
