Words and Thoughts – August 1, 2024
Hello again, alleged readers! I hope you are keeping well, but also perhaps sharing said “well”. If you have a well, I hope the water doesn’t smell like straight sulfur, because one time I smelled well water at a friend’s house, and I asked said friend if the entire Dumpty family had been murdered and left in the well, and he said, “No Stav, that’s just how the water smells, like bad eggs, it’s normal.”
The hell it is normal! Eggs smell like eggs. Bad eggs smell like bad eggs. These things are normal. Water should smell like, say it with me… water!
To recap, hope you’re well, hope you’re sharing wellness, hope your water doesn’t smell like eggs.
In other news, as we search for the best integer, I think we can rule out 444. Don’t get me wrong, four is a fine number, four’s great, four is a good number. And repetition is usually solid, nothing bad about repetition, I’m decidedly pro repetition. However, three fours? What are we, twelve? We are likely not. To recap, no 444, and probably not twelve. Regrettably, we don’t yet have our perfect integer, but we’re getting closer.
Regarding regret: I’m not big on regret, and in my opinion, you shouldn’t be either. But who I am to tell you what to do? Just over here being Stav. That’s not to say I have NO regrets. And to prove it, here are my top three regrets in life:
- There used to be a bar attached to the Super 8 Motel by the airport called the Yellow Jaguar Ultra Lounge. I never went. What would it have been like? Just picture it though. Imagine the debauchery. “The Yellow Jaguar”, “Ultra Lounge”. Wow. Do you think they had a real live jaguar? If not, do you think I could’ve brought a yellow cat? How do you turn down admission to a yellow cat at “The Yellow Jaguar”? You just know the attached Super 8 had to be five-star accommodation too. The epitome of class. I bet you visiting NHL teams stayed there. “Oh, hey Miikka Kiprusoff, do you come here, to The Yellow Jaguar, often? Oh, just in town for hockey? Right on”… Is what I would have said. Alas.
- Enron
- I tried to eat a piece of black licorice once. Never again.
It feels good to share my regrets with you all. In this way, they’re your problem now. I would say I regret burdening you with my problems, but that would be counterproductive. Instead, let’s trade. Send me a fax listing your regrets, and if I can’t monetize them in some way, up to and including straight up blackmail, I’ll help carry your regrets around, and then share them with as many people as I can so as to help lighten the collective load of your regrets.
It’s pretty hard to regret calling your boss “mom” that one time after I take out a billboard announcing that you, your full name listed, called your boss, their full name listed, “mom” at a company meeting, your company’s full name listed. Your regret would seem kind of silly and small in comparison, no?