Words and Thoughts — June 6, 2024

Hello again, alleged readers! I’m willing to bet my mouse-ball that y’all didn’t know I’m also a freelance sportswriter. And y’all know how much I need my mouse-ball. Can’t play Free Cell at work without it.

The reason you all, allegedly, didn’t know, is because I write my sports column, “Words and Sports, in that Order” under the pseudonym “S. Knudsenen”. Clearly, that “S” could stand for anything. You all probably thought Shawn Knudsenen was writing Sports and Thoughts. But nay, ’tis I, Stav.

Here’s my latest article:

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Words and Sports, in that Order

S. Knudsenen

Week of June 3, 2024

Hello again, suspected readers! Who are the New York Mets? This is a question I’ve been asking since last week when I heard someone mention them after lunch at a diner outside of Decatur. I’ve heard of the New York Riptide, but never the Mets. When I got back to my desk the next day (because my job is at least 300 miles from Decatur), I asked my co-worker that exact question, “Hey Roy, who are the New York Mets?”. Without hesitation, and with the confidence that allows me, a sportswriter, to consider Roy a trusted source, Roy advised, “Major League Baseball team in New York, Stav. Also, there’s an éclair on your head.”

I had eaten half an éclair at the diner yesterday, and put the other half on my head, under my hat, for the trip home, to have later, and I forgot about it, and the draconian overlords in HR won’t let us wear hats at work, and when I took my hat off, I still didn’t remember because I had gotten used to it being there. So big h/t to Roy for both the hot tip on these New York Mets, and the éclair!

So, there you have it, suspected readers. The New York Mets are the other professional sports team in New York City, other than The Riptide.

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It’s not my intention to startle you, alleged readers, with such hard-hitting investigative reporting. However sometimes when a story like this breaks, you have to put the regularly scheduled programming aside.

The regularly scheduled stuff this week was going to be a real doozy too! I went to Decatur for the first time, on lunch break. I had to leave before dawn to get there. On the way there, I saw a fridge that had been put out to the curb, and obviously I stopped to play on it. However, like my grandma always used to warn me, “Stav, don’t go playing around them trash fridges, cause they’ll be fixna’ fall right over on ya.” It almost immediately fell over on me. In the chaos of it all, I’m not sure if I was under, and inside, the fridge for a minute or an hour. All I can say is, big h/t to those kids that rolled the thing off of me. I thanked the one with the Kool-Aid mustache, who appeared to be their leader, and took off towards Decatur again. Like I said: doozy!

This is a good éclair. I should probably go back to that diner for lunch.