Words and Thoughts — December 14, 2023

Hello again, alleged readers. Those who own calendars have informed me that it is nearing the end of another year. While I’m still not good with time (I’ve never been a fan of the so-called “second hand” on clocks), I can certainly recognize the value in appreciating the ceaseless march of time towards the inevitable heat death of the universe, punctuated by the metronome of one orbit around our Sun. While technically no different than any other time of year, I suppose this time of year is especially prone to cause one to fall into a retrospective delirium. Well , not I! I refuse to retrospect. Ol’ Stav lives in the moment. The here and the now.

Dammit, as I sit and type this, I do, in fact, feel a retrospective delirium coming on.

What a year, dear alleged readers, it has been! In January I garbage picked a Savage Garden vinyl and threw it on the record player immediately. But right as Darren Hayes got to his second discussion of his magenta feelings, I thought I saw the alien from Signs behind the bookshelf. Terrified, I bolted out of the room and slammed the door. Obviously, I haven’t been able to go in the room again. The record player is still spinning, and sometimes when a truck goes by it shakes the needle arm just enough to start the record again. As much as I love Savage Garden, I do think it might be time to switch the record, and maybe turn the record player off for a couple hours. If anyone would like to come check the room to make sure that there are no aliens from Signs, I’d be mighty appreciative.

Still trying to get to Ohio, but that’s nothing new. Someday perhaps I’ll fulfill that dream. Just think, to be able to go to a place whose name, “OHIO”, looks like Owen Wilson’s face. Stare at “OHIO” and picture of Owen Wilson long enough, and it’ll make sense, mark Ol’ Stav’s words on that one.

Also still working on a list of my favorite integers to share with you all. I have finally ruled out 794, so at least we’re making progress.

This year brought several lateral moves at my job, and frankly I enjoy the variety. Every two weeks on my paycheck, my job code changes. For example, at the start of the year my paycheck was for Stav Knudesnen, job code 01/13/23. Then, two weeks later, I was moved to job code 01/27/23. And after that, it was 02/10/23… and on and on and on. I choose to move desks every time a new job code is issued. I’d like to think I inspire a whimsical spontaneity in my co-workers when they arrive to find that I’ve moved into their desk, because then they too get to move desks for a change of scenery. “But that’s my desk” the lucky individual will invariably say. And to them I say, “Not anymore! Go forth and find adventure!” Often that adventure can be found about four cubicles away. You’re welcome, co-workers!

What a year. I wonder if the alien from Signs is doing on New Year’s Eve.

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