Words and Thoughts — December 7, 2023

Hello again, alleged readers. Much of the televised media, and some of the internet media, that I interact with here and there keeps talking about an impending presidential election. So pervasive has the discussion of this election become that I’m finding it hard to concentrate. I turn on the TV for the Rick Tomaska Coin Show (where I get most of my news), and what do I find? Not Rick Tomaska, but some raucous panel of supposed experts, each deeply lost in their own verbal meanderings, occasionally bumping into one another’s verbal meanderings, until one of them says, “we need to cut to commercial now.” And then when the commercials blessedly arrive, I find that the usual riveting narrative delving into the allegedly platonic tension between Flo, Jake, and the Gecko has been replaced by more election rabble. Gone, apparently, are the days when we can watch a man decide to make a boat out of spray glue, and then actually make the boat. Here now are the days in which people who aren’t involved in the Flo, Jake, and Gecko throuple tell me that someone who is older than the combined age of the throuple is going to make taxes so high I won’t be able to afford TV to see how the throuple ultimately works out. Dammit all, if I find out second hand that Jake and the Gecko end up together and Flo gets voted off, and I don’t get to watch that go down myself… I’ve gotta say I’m going to be pretty darn disappointed.

What is it, December? I don’t know when the election is, but I hope the election is soon, and then TV, and most of the internet, can go back to normal.

If I were president, I’d sure fix a lot of things right away. Everyone keeps talking about plastic bags and plastic waste. The solution is so obvious! Everyone keeps throwing trash bags away. Duh, hello, please stop putting your trash into the bags, and getting the bags all dirty, and then being forced to throw the bags away. Just put the trash DIRECTLY out on your lawn, driveway, curb, whatever you have. Why do y’all keep putting the trash in bags, just to take the bag out. Cut out the middleman, save the plastic bags, lower taxes, put the trash directly out in front of your place!

While we’re at it here, my neighbor’s pool is very large. And so is his fence. This makes it very difficult for me to get into his pool. I’ve tried to bring this issue up with him on multiple occasions, but he just gets all agitated and yells. On nights when I do make it into his yard, he turns the backyard lights on, and of course I do what any one of you would do: Just stand there motionless waiting to see if he sees me, which he usually does, and then guess what, just more yelling. This is not my America. As president I wouldn’t outlaw all fences, just his.

I REALLY hope Jake and the Gecko end up together.