Words and Thoughts — October 12, 2023

Hello again, alleged readers! I have a small quantity of egg on my face it would appear! Not literal eggs this time though. This time it’s the figurative type of egg, as opposed to the time that I ran out in front of a liquid egg tanker truck; that was real egg, and it went EVERYWHERE. When we last corresponded, I informed all of you that I found myself riding the back of a garbage truck somewhere in Ohio. I have come to find out, that I was slightly, and I do emphasize the “slightly,” mistaken. I was actually on a plane, and Ohio was, in reality, a roundabout on the outskirts of Keflavik, Iceland. Common mistake. Could’ve happened to anyone I suppose.

I guess I can’t check Ohio off my bucket list just yet.

Without any means of electronic communication, or identification, I was obviously in a bit of a pickle (again, figurative, not like the pickle-cart incident). Thankfully though, just like everyone else, I ALWAYS carry travelers checks in a fanny pack. Always. As such, I was able to secure a small apartment for myself until the necessary means of identification and communication could be mailed to me.

The first thing I noticed was the stark difference in the electrical outlets compared to what I was used to in the good ol’ US of A. So different, in fact, were the outlets that I mistook them for a pencil sharpener. Fortunately, Mr. Sigurður who rented me the apartment was very understanding and was able to reset the breaker for the four-unit building rather quickly. I also found that this was an excellent way to get in touch with Mr. Sigurður. Should you ever go to Iceland, and you need to contact someone, just stick something metallic (including pencil graphite) into one of their goofy looking electrical sockets, and an Icelander will appear!

Never having been to Iceland before, and despite not being in Ohio, I was excited to learn as much as possible about the country. A local family gave me a ride to what I assumed was a gender-reveal party. We all stood around a small hole in the ground and waited. Instead of a gender reveal however, after about 15 minutes, a small geyser of sulfuric steam erupted. The steam wasn’t pink or blue or anything like that, rather just white and smelled… unpleasant. Everyone cheered as the steam cloud briefly enveloped the gathered crowd. If you’ve ever had a large dog wander into your sauna and poop while you’re in there, then you probably have a good idea of what it was like.

Also, despite the defeat of Iceland’s Youth National Hockey Team at the Junior Godwill Games in ’94, (more reading on this matter can be found in the critically acclaimed documentary, D2: The Mighty Ducks), there was no innate hatred of Emelio Esteves as I had always assumed there would be.

Iceland was truly a land of beauty and wonderment.